Filmmaker Adrian Dowling reflects on his Nestival Residency

It took me more than two months to apply to do the residency. I kept putting it off because I find those kind of things very difficult, but after attending one of the F13 meetings I felt quite comfortable in the space. Duncan Whitley [a former Talking Birds Resident] was pushing me, saying “Why don’t you do it? I think it would be good for you.” So I recorded a voice application with the help of my daughter, Kady, who’s doing all the technical stuff while I’m reading off some paper because I find it quite difficult to write things down.

Still from “Reflection 2”

At the beginning, I was quite worried and anxious about doing the actual residency and was sort of talking myself out of doing it really. But I found the first day a great welcome and relaxing. And that was something that I really needed, if I’m honest, because I don’t ever, or would never, other than with my drama stuff in the past, go into other organisations and mix in that way. After doing the “Reflection” exhibition as part of the City of Culture, which was quite a success – I’ve been working on it for almost 4 years – I was very deflated and unsure if I would continue in this field because it wasn’t financially rewarding for me. Because that’s what I’m used to doing – making money – I’m quite good at it.

And I found the process of working within City of Culture – because I’d never done that before, I’d never mixed in the creative world – I found it very difficult because I’d started the work and wanted to have it finished for the exhibition but wasn’t given money in time and there were lots of other factors. So in a way I’d put off ever looking at the footage again and even wanting to go back there. And I was very deflated and it actually made me feel quite unwell really because I’m used to just getting on with things.

Stills from “Reflection 2”

So being given this residency was an opportunity to reflect and look at the unfinished pieces from “Reflection 3” (the work I’ve been doing was in three parts – “Reflection” 1, 2 and 3 and they are all about before, during and after the arrival of House Music and the things that come with it).

I’d never really used a computer before. I’d never connected a hard drive to a computer before. And the Mac that I was using – well I’d just been watching the telly on it for months. And so I really appreciated the support that I was given by Charlie. Because when I went into that studio and I connected the computer, turned it on and connected the hard drive – I’d never done that before. I’d had the stuff for months, but I’d never done it. So from the beginning, especially with the little post-its and the pencils – silly things – but for me it was like: “Woah! A pencil! And a desk! And the environment!” – it just felt different. 

Connecting the hard drive for me was a massive thing. And to be given a space was very unusual and a bit of an adventure for me. And I know this sounds a bit strange – I’m nearly 48 years old – but it felt to me like going back to Primary school and a new kind of journey. And within the first two days I’d done my first ever edit on a computer. This isn’t a big thing for anyone else, but for me, I’d just spent 4 years making 9 films and 18 radio documentaries using just my brain, and sometimes writing things down on paper. But I never thought I would do an edit on a computer! I’d already done 2 or 3 week courses and never picked it up. So by this achievement I felt quite good about myself. Unfortunately the next day I had forgotten how I had done it the day before, but I continued.

As I continued using the computer and taking advantage of the infrastructure that Talking Birds had in place (that coffee that’s got to be laced with some kind of class A…) and just having lunch with people. I’d never really mixed with people like that. I’d never even really mixed with people like the Talking Birds staff and it felt good, and it worked for me.

Stills from “Reflection 2”

I also enjoyed that I was able to bring Jonah in, who’d been helping me for the past year or so, and it brought out a different element in him as well. He’s usually always late, and things can be quite difficult – he’s a young lad – but he was working better as well and we really did get through quite a lot of stuff and I was quite happy with how much we got done.

So the experience was fantastic really, and it gave me confidence in my creative skills and it gave me an idea of how I’m going to complete “Reflection 3 – The Drugs Don’t Work”. Because it had become something that I disliked because of what had happened during the exhibition period and the build up of my work – nothing to do with the residency itself. But I was given a blank canvas and a fresh start.

And leaving there on that Friday evening, I really did have a bit of a bounce in my step and this feeling that the arts world that I’d been part of with City of Culture and this ‘producer’ kind of stuff and everything – that that isn’t how the whole of the industry is. That was something was very rewarding really and I quite enjoyed going there and working like that.

And I really appreciate the help, and Talking Birds accepting me for the way I find simple things difficult but were also there to support me. I would recommend the experience to other people that are creative and possibly looking for a window or an opportunity.

So respect to everyone at Talking Birds. You’ve got something very special there and I was very lucky to have had those two weeks.

Thank you very much!