n:u reflects on their recent Nest Residency, which followed on from – and built on – their time as a MAIA fellow and residency at Yard.

During my residency with Talking Birds i reflected on my practice, and my sense of direction. 5 years ago my first contract in the UK was with Talking Birds for a residency. It was remote from home, due to COVID-19 lockdown. This time again, as an ode to that time i did the residency remote. i started walking a lot around Birmingham more than i had done across 4 years living here. Walking supports my digestive processes and i had a lot to digest.

i had worries related to this residency being the last scheduled work commitment i had before jumping into the unknown for the first time in 5 years. i was also trying to re-approach FREE(HOLD), my first time choreographing and conceptualising an atmosphere for other artists. The first work in progress (which i thought was a premiere but was not) was shared at Birmingham Settlement last March as part of MAIA Weekender and concluded my fellowship with MAIA. Within the first few nights of Talking Birds residency i dreamt up FREE(HOLD) variation 1 and variation 2. In the original variation there is 1 artist involved, the second one has 3 artists connected to the same railway nail, and the third one comprises 8 artists connected to their own ropes and railway nails attuning to each other and the material in an ana-choreography. This is about the act of trying over and over again whilst walking in the dark (internal, conceptual, and related to collective polycrises). In relation to my fellowship with MAIA i was interested in witnessing and acknowledging the immense amount of faith and determination it takes for Black artists and cultural workers to acquire land, as well as the illusion that aiming to ‘acquire’ land can also produce.

““Most of us, no matter what we say, are walking in the dark, whistling in the dark. Nobody knows what is going to happen to him from one moment to the next, or how one will bear it. This is irreducible. And it’s true of everybody. Now, it is true that the nature of society is to create, among its citizens, an illusion of safety; but it is also absolutely true that the safety is always necessarily an illusion. Artists are here to disturb the peace.” (James Baldwin July 15 1961)

i arrived to the residency with a frazzled brain and having a day of support from Sym Mendez helped me to realise what i have built in such a short amount of time and list what, where, and how i could keep on moving towards my current artistic desires and needs. Offered mentorship as part of the opportunity, i met Lou Robbin and it was a match. In the midst of the pleasure that it was to get to know each other, this day infused me with a re-affirmed desire to present my solo performance art works more than once, take time to find the right producer-collaborator, and take more time to make work. The later is the long road i want to take with FREE(HOLD), i want the R&D residencies with artists, the WIP 1,2,3, and attempts at making the work in different environments. With Lou’s words of encouragement, i can feel the possibilities that a slow and intentional brewing of FREE(HOLD) with the right team could bring about.

Without transition – i happened to start having a new special interest for swans in the swamp of dreaming with and for FREE(HOLD), it started with Yewande YoYo Odunubi (who was the first to perform and interpret FREE(HOLD) at MAIA FEST). As Yewande moved towards another sequence of movement right as they extended their body the sound and image of a swan taking off in the background punctuated that moment – it was as if it had been directed or choreographed in this way. Later in my uncle pilgrimage during the residency, i kept on getting drawn towards how swans be, move, and transcend my stiff understanding of what it takes to dwell. Before the residency, FREE(HOLD) had spiritual rituals in the preparation of the material (including humans); movements, emotions attached to the act of trying from me, Yewande, and what i witnessed accross the years with MAIA; and the British definition of what a freehold is in the British dictionary. Now on top, FREE(HOLD) has 2 more variations, an atmosphere, and an expansive and open sketch of routes it could walk towards.

i think it is quite humorous for me to come to choreographing from a performance arts practice. There is quite a reduced amount of actual rehearsing involved, a certain type of spiritual holding, a lot of approaching and getting a sense of how different artists attune to material, space, and spirit, and building of (only visible to the team or artists) a type of liberatory infrastructure i had never felt before. A constant within my process is being in a space of receptivity to gather omens when they emerge, and responding to the moment with as much care as necessary in and for the moment. Moving closer towards dance as a field with FREE(HOLD) is fascinating and i am here for the adventure and the learnings along the way.

In a nutshell i started this residency confused and worried and ended it with calm and soothing breaths. Confusion is where breakthroughs happen too. i am grateful to Yewande, the swans along the way, Lou, Sym, Janet, Derek, Melissa, Talking Birds, Grace, Reisz, MAIA, the long walks, and nights of sleep.

If you are interested in chatting about FREE(HOLD) or supporting its development please contact me 💌: n.u@atmosphere-maker.org
Website: atmosphere-maker.org
Instagram (now public): @n.u.practice
Also here are some of my uncle photos and video:

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