Tizzie Frankish reflects on her nest residency

When I hear writers equate the writing journey with riding a roller coaster, I couldn’t agree more. It’s a cliché for a reason, right? A couple of years ago, my writing journey hit a bone-crushing low when my second agent left the industry, and I decided to get off the roller coaster. In fact, I shut down the writing-ride completely- which was fine for a year, until not writing began to feel just as disappointing as writing. Did this mean I was ready to get back on the writing-ride? Possibly… But did I want it to be the same ride…? Absolutely not! Destination Publication was no longer my ride of choice, but finding fun on ALL the rides was much more appealing (you can read all about these experiences here). Over the next year, I found joy in the creative process again- writing anything and everything, from pitches to proposals, to TV samples and scripts, articles and education, flash and non-fiction… and finding the fun in writing again sparked a new idea…

This idea brought together two life changing experiences- one of love and loss and the other a weeklong walk on the Camino De Santiago, thus, the premise of a young woman embarking on a physical journey to process her grief-stricken emotional journey was born. However, imposter syndrome of writing for a Young Adult audience stopped me exploring it further, until I found Talking Birds and applied for The Nest residency, with the aim of using the application process to hone my story pitch. So, although I was delighted to be accepted for the residency, I was bowled over by someone else believing in my idea, and it empowered me to act on my first fiction idea in two years. (thank you TB!). Whilst old-writer-me worked from a loose plan and discovery wrote through ideas, new-writer-me felt this premise required some serious planning. In true, hyper-fixation mode, I fell down the research rabbit hole of plotting and planning techniques, from concept tests to plotting methods, from writing elevator pitches to blurbs and synopses, until the plot outline was ready to go.  

Cue The Nest residency…

The first day in The Nest, I walked into Solid Blue, took a moment to revel in the fact this space was all mine… a space where I was free to focus on my craft with no disruptions or distractions. I tacked my plot outline to the wall and my hyper-focus kicked in. I barely paused for breath on that first day; developing the plot plan into a scene overview- step by step, stage by stage. It might have been a completely imperfect scene overview, but it existed and that kernel of an idea (which someone else believed in) was taking shape. I’d found the sweet-sweet spot of creative flow- where motivation, ideas and time stars align, and the words almost wrote themselves. This story was ready to fly…

Yet, as any creative person knows- the state of flow is elusive- flying high one day, hitting the wall the next, and my second day in The Nest couldn’t have been more different to the first… a room with no distractions felt heavy and intense. My plot was planned, but the plot holes were glaringly obvious, and I was stuck. My story plan sucked! At home, a lot of my ‘writing’ is actually about avoiding the hiccups and hurdles of writing by engaging in procrastination tasks, such as digging dirt from the floorboards with a toothpick. But, staring out of the window that day, I realised those hiccups and hurdles don’t derail the drafting process… they ARE the process. My process, and alone in The Nest, I couldn’t avoid dealing with plot holes by using tippex to whiten the grout in my kitchen tiles, I had to face them head on. I had an external plot, but what I needed was internal character development and emotional stakes. Cue Flip chart paper, questions and answers, and after A LOT of scribbling later, I found some workable solutions. What took me a day of focus in Solid Blue, would’ve taken weeks and weeks of avoidance, head banging and ‘procrastitasks’ at home… great for the overall upkeep of my house, but rubbish for my writing progress. 

I have a very chaotic, scattered, and idea-firing brain, which can be tricky to pin down, and after the intensity of planning in such a linear way, my brain started to fight back. So, by my third day in The Nest, my story felt flat (that’s not to say it was, but my brain was bored!). I was so focussed on the planning, I’d overlooked the element that always came first in my younger fiction stories – Voice! I couldn’t hear my main character. She wasn’t twittering away in my ear as my characters usually do. So, to try and get closer to her, I started writing. My opening scene had all the required elements, but it felt generic… I still couldn’t hear my character’s voice- not even as her words played out on the page. I know that Young Adult fiction is ALL about the voice, so to get inside her head, I rewrote the scene in first person. The rewrite, and the rewrite after that, were far from perfect, but this time my main character had agency and authenticity. When I fit my writing around family, work, and life-snatching an hour here and there I don’t always have the luxury to experiment in this way … so the space and time to do so was delightful… like refining a recipe till it hits the taste buds just right. 

Up to this point in my residency I’d been in my writing bubble and the solitude of Solid Blue, but on day three I had a mentoring meeting with Vanessa Oakes, who after an introductory chat said, ‘tell me about your story’. Gulp! I had a plot plan, I had character and emotional stakes, but did I have a story? And if so, could I articulate it? Faced with the first-time of speaking my story, I froze… a writer’s equivalent of stage fright… then the scene from the Goonies ensued. Like Chunk, when he spills his life story to the Fratelli brothers, I spewed the guts of my story to Vanessa. And as I verbalised it, I realised I wasn’t just telling Vanessa my story, I was telling it to myself…  and the much-wrangled plot holes were solving themselves. As is often the case, we know the answers to our creative questions, but we don’t always trust ourselves to find them. The option to soundboard ideas in a safe place often presents the solutions we need (thanks Vanessa!). Vanessa also encouraged me not to lose momentum with my story, and to change the way I spoke about my story – replacing my doubtful ‘if’s’ to the more positive ‘whens,’ and I left the meeting talking about plans for ‘when I finish my draft’ and ‘when I publish my book.’ Initially, talking this way felt awkward, like wearing someone else’s coat, but I hoped, in time, I’d feel more comfortable with it. 

Back in Solid Blue, I reflected on the way I work, and whether it’s creatively, personally or professionally, I only ‘do’ with a deadline. So, following Vanessa’s advice, I used my remaining residency developing a detailed plan to complete my novel within a year. Vanessa has also mentioned an Arts Council grant she’d received to support her current project, and I wondered if I could use everything I have learnt, developed and planned on my story during my residency to apply for a grant myself.  So, after flying The Nest, I did just that.

So, although The Nest is not outcome based and my recent creative processes aren’t outcome focussed, it doesn’t mean we can’t learn, develop and achieve things along the way…  I truly believe that if I hadn’t decided to write for the joy of the creative process, if I hadn’t filled out the Nest application form for the fun of turning the spark of an idea into a pitch, if Talking Birds hadn’t had the belief in me and my idea and offered me the residency, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to apply for a grant. Yet, here I am… standing at the precipice of a new writing- and no doubt rollercoaster-ride of an opportunity, after receiving Arts Council Funding to develop my creative practice and write my Young Adult story. 

Thank you to the Talking Birds team for taking a chance on me…

Here’s to the next chapter!